People with partners get wooed, seduced and tempted all the time. How do you not go under in situations like this?
Understandably, the decision to stay faithful to your partner, or to your marriage vows will take a lot of energy, strong will and restraint, but hey, you chose this, didn’t you?
The least that is expected of you is to have the balls [and I’m not referring to only men here] to stay true to that person you decided to enter into a relationship with.
But as we have already said here, being in a relationship or being married will not automatically take away your attraction to other people, neither does it mean interested people will stop chasing after you for sex and other extramarital affairs.
When you are faced with temptations, [believe me, you will] these are some of the things that will help you out.
1. Be determined
Whatever will happen will first happen in your mind, so you need to decide to never entertain the thought of ever cheating on your spouse. The thought will cross your mind, but you can’t allow it have a firm grip in there.
You should choose to hold your end of the bargain, regardless of what your spouse does or does not do. Of course, I have to repeat here that being faithful is not an easy thing to do as you’ll be tempted a lot and your determination alone might not be enough, which is why you need the other things listed below as well.
2. Limit opportunity
If you never get in a situation to cheat on your partner, you’ll most likely not.
Hence, it’ll do you a world of good to limit or totally cut off ties with everyone who might be too tempting to ignore. Stay away from old flames and people with whom you’ve had sexual relationships in the past.
3. Get your spouse involved
Becoming married or getting into a relationship does not mean that you have to leave every other person you were once close to.
However, to avoid the temptation of falling for someone else, or them falling for you, you need to always find a way to remind them [and yourself] that you are now committed to someone else who deserves your loyalty.
Wear your wedding ring, find a way to bring up your spouse’s name in conversations with them.
That, plus your strong determination to be faithful should be enough to ward off any chance of becoming tempted to cheat.
4. Keep your emotional issues for your partner only
When your partner offends you, or does something wrong, and refuses to see reason with you, sharing it and asking for someone else’s opinion might seem like the easiest thing to do. [Especially someone of the opposite sex]
You say “I just needed someone to talk to and he or she was there.”
Well done. Continue.
You should know that sharing sensitive information aka regular, intimate communication is how many emotional bonds begin. Soon a shoulder to cry on might soon become a ‘rod’ to ride on.
Do not get too close. Do not build that emotional connection. You’ll not be able to fight that temptation to cheat.
5. Seek assistance
If you feel tempted to spark up a relationship with someone else, tell someone.
Just tell someone.
Of course the best people that people often find it easy to talk to in these instances are their spiritual heads, and it’s just fine.
Talk to your religious head if that’s who you can fearlessly confide in. In the instance where you do not have any, or you feel they cannot be completely trusted, then you might want to meet with professional advisers/ counselors/ therapists.
Get out, get help! [It might not be a bad idea to go see the professional with your spouse if you are married].
All in all, staying faithful and true to any exclusive relationship requires so much work, and you should be ready to do what is needed.
If not, why on God’s green earth are you in the relationship?